Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The results of Points FAIL

I gained 2.5 lbs since my last meeting. I would be lying if I said I were not disappointed and not kicking myself. Intellectually I know I just have to take my lumps and move on, get back on the horse, stiff upper lip. But I'm having a rough couple of weeks.

The disaster that is grade 7 ELA substitute teaching has me feeling like I'm a Bad Teacher and I should Not be making this career move. On the other hand, the lead teacher did try to cajole me into staying the rest of the year, and the other 7th grade teachers also look fed up, wiped out, and exasperated this week. This is one tough group of kids. Again, intellectually, I understand this. But at the end of the day, I feel like a fat, failed teacher.

Emotionally, I'm feeling down, stressed, insecure. Does not help that it's the Worst Time of Year and the Worst Time of Month all at once, a condition for which my friend R. says, "Just write 'S.W.' on the calendar for the week." S.W.? "Suicide Watch," she explained.

Ah, gallows humor, so necessary in mid-February.

2 comments:

Narya said...

I keep wanting to respond to this, because it's clear you HAVE been going through a rough patch. The best I can come up with is that you can get back on the points train knowing that it will actually work for you, which is good information to have.

kStyle said...

Narya, that's an excellent point. Thank you. That helps.