My Body Thinks It's Dying, Which Makes My Mind Irritable.

I ate two salads today. Two! One had grilled chicken and grilled portobello--portobella? which is it?--'shrooms, and it was delicious. I ate steel cut oats made overnight in a crockpot, so that they were ready when I woke up famished. They were also delish. I ate whole wheat pasta shells with nonfat tomato sauce. I had less milk than I was supposed to, but I'm not a milk drinker. I ate 2 oz of pineapple, the better part of an apple, and even a quarter oz of Schaffen Berger. I learned about the minefield that is salad dressing and found a really, really great lemon tarragon one that adds minimal calories. I indulged in one of the world-famous rolls at the restaurant where I had my first salad of the day.

And my body is screaming: EAT MORE! THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH CALORIES!, but alas, I am out of points for the day. However, I may yet snack on the zero-point dubious treat of celery dunked in salsa. We shall see.

I comfort myself that my blood is rich in antioxidants thanks to all the veggies.

I must return my irritable self to sipping my soothing tea. A group of people, myself included, are trying to arrange a carpool to an event in Boston this week. One woman wrote that she thought we could leave at 5:30 rather than 5. I was about to write back, YOU ARE FUCKING BONKERS AND IF EVERYONE DECIDES TO LEAVE AT HALF-PAST I'LL GO BY MY DAMN SELF BECAUSE WE'LL SIT IN RUSH-HOUR TRAFFIC FOR THE REST OF TIME AND NEVER GET ANYWHERE NEAR OUR EVENT, but then I realized that maybe I'd lost a wee bit of perspective because I'm adjusting to eating fewer calories. And it's dark. And winter.

Thus: tea.

Counting Points, Day 1: A Post in List Form

I've made myself some rules to make this process livable:

1. No goddamn skim milk. It's 1% or nothing.
2. No goddamn cottage cheese. EVER. Why would I start eating something I would never, ever touch unless trying to lose weight? I will, however, entertain low-fat versions of other, yummy cheeses. Cabot makes a good 75% reduced-fat cheddar.
3. The point of the egg is the yolk. Any mama chicken or human who likes real food will tell you this. A lifetime of just whites is a prison sentence. Therefore, I will eat either a) one entire egg, or b) one egg plus the whites of another, but there will be yolk.
   (Insert "yolk" pun here.)

I'm feeling optimistic about this process because it seems it will solve the 2 stumbling blocks I encountered when using the Food Guide Pyramid to trim calories this summer.

1. I was always hungry. Therefore, I was irritable for large swathes of my waking hours.
   WW solution: The food guides place little green diamonds next to filling foods!
2. I eventually felt lonely in my efforts and it was too easy to slide as a result.
   WW solution: Weekly meetings, which are basically support groups for foodies. "Here is my tribe," I thought. I was very surprised to realize that everyone at WW seemed to really, really like food. These were not brittle, skinny women who loved cottage cheese and battled with themselves to eat less of it. These were foodies. Gourmands. It will be a good group from which to get healthy food tips, because, again, they ain't eating cottage cheese, either.

Finally, my dalliance with the Food Guide Pyramid is giving me a little boost on the WW new "Healthy Eating Guidelines," which are the Food Pyramid set up in a rectangular chart instead.

Goal: Moderation

One of my goals for the weight loss process if to find a better balance between diet and exercise. There was a time when I was dancing 10-15 hours/week. I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted. Later, when I wasn't dancing as much, if I had overeaten, I'd burn it off with more exercise. I'm starting to realize, after only 8 years in the "real world" (I must be exceptionally swift), that I can't always burn off the extra calories. Between working, commuting, sleeping, hygiene, maintaining interpersonal relationships, and cat care, there is only so much time I can devote to physical activity. Moreover, I feel better when I do activity at a moderate intensity level. I've never been one for X-treme exercise, even when I spent a third of my waking hours whirling and twirling, hopping and tapping.

So, I must control intake. I must.

I wonder if Michael Phelps goes through this when he's not training.

Stretchy, stretchy

I do reckon that my stomach gained some stretch thanks to the holiday gorging. This morning I had my normally perfectly satisfying breakfast of oatmeal, wheat germ, fruit, milk, and a sprinkle of brown sugar. I drank water and tea. Then, still hungry, I munched on brie and crackers. My tummy still asks for more, however. I'm trying to fill up with water, and I'll let myself have an early lunch. I need to retrain my stretch receptors. And eat some protein, I think.

Posturing

I found a Denise Austin DVD, "Power Zone: Mind, Body, Soul," at Ocean State Job Lot for $2.99. The core, so the speak, of the workout is a standing Pilates sequence, which tones and strengthens the abs and back without creating the neck pain of doing floor abs work. I feel energized, graceful, relaxed, and tall at the end of this 40-minute workout. My posture feels long and effortless. It's nice. The set design is absurd and the music poor, but the exercises are great.

First Purchase of 2009

Yesterday I stopped at Walmart for the first time since July 1, 2006* and purchased a hot air corn popper. Walmart is evil; I know this. However, they carry the popper deemed best by Slate.com, and it happened to be on sale for $15.

I love this thing already. The corn comes out lighter and fluffier--not to mention reduced-calorier--than oil-popped, but without the artificial flavor and stench of microwave popcorn. Plus, the popping process makes a lot of satisfying noise.

I'm eager to get some kelp and nutritional yeast to sprinkle on my popcorn. I enjoyed this combination once when living in Santa Fe (a hippie haven), and I'm going to test whether it lives up to my heavenly memories.



*Our wedding date, when I had to pick up underwear for my soon-to-be husband, who had forgotten to pack any. Walmart was the only show in town.

New Year's at the House of Butter

My father-in-law's wonderful, marvelous, fabulous wife is a fantastic cook. Trouble is, she is a high-fat, high-calorie, decadent cook. Her favorite recipes come from the barefoot contessa, aka Ina Garten, a woman who has never put less than three sticks of butter in a recipe. Her food sure is delicious, though.

Anyway, we rung in the New Year with: 10 kinds of homemade cookies, 2 kinds of quiches (both containing bacon!), a ham, and the contessa's sticky buns, among other delicacies. Everything was scrumptious and I ate a ton. I decided just not to count Dec 31, 2008-Jan 1, 2009. I had eaten light and exercised enough from Dec. 29-30 that I should come out even in the weight game. I hope.

Now we are home. We were sent home with a plate of cookies, of course. We placed them straight in the freezer, saving them for our board game night next Friday. Friends will eat them! Not us!

All this decadent cooking has inspired a new year's goal for me: to learn to cook super-fine low-fat recipes. I'm a pretty good cook of regular food, ie, food that is less fatty than the contessa's but more fatty than reduced-fat meals. Can I become a fantastic low-fat, high-fiber cook? I think I can!