Advice? Anyone?

Here's the problem: When I'm supremely tired, I eat. It's as if my body has an instinct to carb-load for fuel when I haven't slept enough. Like I could run off of sugar and fat when there's not enough rest to recharge. I realize that the best solution is to get my 7-9 hours nightly, plus an occasional afternoon nap, but in real life, it ain't always possible.

I stock apples and bananas, but my exhaustion drives me like a zombie after brains to pasta, candy, and granola bars. I try drinking water before eating--no dice.

On a related note, I noticed last night, as I notice on occasion, that I may require more downtime than the average bear to function properly. OTOH, perhaps I am more concerned about doing things well than the average person, and therefore put more energy into each thing I do. I don't like to slam through tasks, assignments, social time, or life. My motto is decidedly not "Work hard, play hard." It might be more like, "Work hard, but not all the time, then relax and have some unstructured time, which may include play, rest, contemplation, and/or cooking."

Quick Note from Vacation

It would seem that Southern cooking and WW are inherently incompatible.

No, let's not discuss it.

You may be surprised to learn, dear reader, that I do not tell most people I know in real life about my weight loss efforts. There are a few reasons for this. The first is that many people are absolute conversational dullards who will want to discuss the ins and outs of weight management in the most mundane possible way for the next half hour. The second is that I fear people will want me to join in the sport of bashing the previous, heavier version of my body, like the way people want you to rip apart your ex, but you're like, "But I loved that person." I refuse to join in any body bashing. The third reason, especially when dealing with women, is that I don't have the energy to cope with the "You're so good, and I need to do that, too," reaction. I'm very busy and have neither the time nor the desire to conduct concurrent crash courses in Feminism 101 and First-Year Self-Esteem.

And that's the story.

Fifteen pounds off, and my body and mind seem different.

I have now whittled fifteen pounds of fat from my body. The changes in my body are now obvious to me. My waistline is quite concave. My upper belly is mostly flat. The Girls are perkier. I can see that I've improved my waist-to-hip ratio, which is a key marker for health. (I'm glad that I've been doing lots of abs exercises this whole time, because now that enough fat is gone to reveal a waistline, my posture is great, my abs and back are strong.)

It's nice to see and feel tangible results from my efforts. The key skill/mindset I've learned over these fifteen pounds is Stick-To-It-Ness (STIN). STIN requires a patient determination, a constant returning to the present. The ability to return to the present over and over, to let go of that last mistake and proceed forward, requires a lot of mindfulness, a heaping whallop of letting go of the harshly critical inner voices, and categorical banishment of little voice that says, "Hey, you blew lunch. Let's have cake for dinner." I've also learned that some weeks are too chaotic to focus on losing weight, and it's best for me to maintain weight and then resume losing when I have more time and space. The slow boat is best. This is not a sprint to the finish; this is a long stroll to a new place where I plan to live.

Kickin' ass and bitchslapping my inner demons, I lose weight.

Correlation

In the comments a few posts down, Ann and I are having an interesting (if I do say so myself) discussion about correlation v. causation when it comes to health and obesity. Official NIH info about health, obesity, and determining whether losing weight would decrease your risk of disease here.

Be sure to check out the mouseover in that comic. :)

UPDATE: crap, seems you can't see the mouseover. Here's what it says:
Correlation doesn't imply causation, but it does waggle its eyebrows suggestively and gesture furtively while mouthing 'look over there'.

Side benefit

Oh, hey, I'm more flexible all of a sudden! I haven't been stretching more--maybe even a little less. All I can figure is that having less, say, belly in the way makes me able to stretch farther forward. Also, I can hug my husband tighter.

Mnph...Food...Hangover

Yesterday, my husband defended his PhD. (Hurray!) It was a strange, unstructured day, a day with lots of food around, a day when I ate ALL that food because I was nervous/celebratory. In a word: Regression.

(A pause to emphasize that this was a fantastic, momentous day! Happy!)

Despite my efforts in packing a favorite salad for lunch, here is what I ate yesterday:

• pie (yes, at breakfast)
• cereal and soy milk
• coffee
• 3 cookies
• some of that salad
• a giant falafel wrap
• iced coffee (at 4:30 PM! Then I wondered why I couldn't sleep...)
• fried Indian appetizers: half a samosa and 2 pakoras
• masala chai (tasted traditional, i.e., made with half-and-half in place of milk)
  
• naan
• coconut rice
• channa saagwala (mmmm, spinach, chickpeas, spices, and loads of ghee)
• kulfi

Immediately after dinner, I felt sluggish, bloated, heavy, gross. My mind was dull. I recognized this sensation and instantly realized that I hadn't felt it since I began WW. I used to feel this hyperglycemic stupor fairly often after a restaurant meal. Also? I'm mildly lactose intolerant, but yesterday I did a marvelous job of pretending I was not.

I didn't feel well as I tried to sleep last night. My gut felt heavy, my mind was both dull and racing, muscles achy. I dreamed all night that it was Christmas and I could not get away from holiday cookies and eggnog. At one time, these would have been heavenly dreams, but last night, they were nightmares.

This morning is the strangest, though. I feel what I can only describe as a food hangover. Its symptoms are different from a regular hangover (so I'm told, I was never a big fan of alcohol). I STILL feel full and slightly queasy. My mouth is dry and has a bad taste. Brain racing and slightly foggy still.

This experience is an excellent affirmation for me of the effects food has on my body and mind, and also of the improvements to my own well-being thanks to WW.

I think a little tea with a little honey and a slice of toast will suffice for breakfast. I think I will stick to monastic food today.